I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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