What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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