What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

What's 9+10 Ebola

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

Justin Bieber

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

Knock Knock? Come in.

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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