Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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A gay man watches football.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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