There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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your mum

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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