What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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you...

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Poker face

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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