Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Womens rights.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops