When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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( . Y . )

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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