A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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