knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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2 + 2 = fish

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Oh, go away

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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