My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

thumb_up thumb_down -9

the midget went to the midget store

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops