Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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