A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

epic win?

A seal walks into a club.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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