Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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