What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

Gus's mom

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

its funny cuz i laughed!

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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