Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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