My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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