What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What is my name? I dont know

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

I drive a 'rarri

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...