What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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