Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

Adam Thomas is homosexual

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

Moo! I'm a goat!

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

homosexuals are gay

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

Z.

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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