what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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I am a nigger.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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2 + 2 = fish

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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