Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Please? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1234567777777777777777778

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops