Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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pauls tuck

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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GADZOOKS!

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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