Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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whats better than a car. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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