Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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