You know what's funny? Clowns.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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Jesus was a good guy

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops