Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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Potassium? K.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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YOU

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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This is not a joke

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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