How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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shut up kobe!

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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