What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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I told you it would happen

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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So, same time tomorrow then?

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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