A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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GONNA

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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