what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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h

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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U mad?

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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