what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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Women's rights

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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You are Nerochan right?

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops