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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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I ponder

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops