Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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