A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Who is a knob? ross d

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Cleveland winning something

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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