Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

miley cyrus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops