what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops