What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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poop

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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test

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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