Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

anne hatthaway

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walked out of church and said F***!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down

The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's up? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than hell?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops