If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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Blarg

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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hi. thats what she said.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Your doorbell is broken.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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