What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Period Blood

thumb_up thumb_down +19

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops