What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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