knock knock... ...no answer

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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LOL

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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