Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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