welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Badabing.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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