Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Why? Why not?

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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