- Anti Joke

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.