whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops