A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +65

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

womens sports...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down -1

y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops