a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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